Hello - Yes, It's Me Again

So it's been awhile since my last post. Okay a VERY long while. No big excuse, just life. From Thanksgiving until Christmas is always a ball of chaotic activity, but throw in a child and you have complete exhaustion; add teething to that child and you have "nearing the institution crazy"; couple that with the whole family having a cold and you might just have the apocalypse.

Okay so I exaggerate. It wasn't THAT bad. We all were stricken with the common cold. So this year's theme for Christmas was "Merry Christmas - please pass the tissue." I really can't complain. We are a very healthy family. This is the first time J. Hogan has EVER been sick and he is 10 months old. This cold wasn't really that bad for him. He never got too bad and bounced back quickly. I am very proud of him. This is also the first time Chris or I have been sick since J. Hogan was born. But we were a team this time. You know the old saying, "the family that prays together, sneezes together."

Christmas was nothing short of remarkable this year. I keep telling people I always thought our Christmas celebrations were always so much fun and wonderful, boy was I wrong. They apparently were boring and mediocre. This year was more than I ever imagined. J. Hogan took in all that the season had to offer - caroling, gift giving, Santa, the lights, the tastes, the sounds. He even learned how to say "thank you" just in time for the big day. And yes, it is the cutest thing ever when he says it.

Chris and I continually reflected at how much difference a year makes. This time last year, I was seven months pregnant; did not know if I was going to have a son or a daughter; still working at Lee; and let's face it - terrified of the responsibility I was facing. Now, we have an incredible 10 month old son and that scary responsibility, well, my heart embraced it the moment I touched my son's face. It is now an unshakable desire to make him his best self. It is now a since of duty and honor to protect him - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It is now a love that shatters all definitions of the word. It is reality. Don't get me wrong. Sometimes the fear is still there and it is then that I have to remind myself that fear is a worthless emotion. We are not in control here, He is - God is. I am so very thankful for that.

Last week I was visiting my parents and my aunt stopped by for a visit. Her husband just passed away one short year ago. She said something that has stuck in my mind and my heart. She said, "give what you need." That is going to be my theme for 2009. I can only imagine what this next year will hold for me. I am sure it will be an adventure.