Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Dear Year...

Dear Year,

Where did you go? Just this time last year I was checking into the hospital in the middle of labor. That does not seem twelve months ago, maybe one month, but definitely not twelve. I end this day, my final day with a child under the age of one, with such a roller coaster of emotion. I embrace every moment - the good times and the bad. I now look back and understand the importance of sleepless nights. I have my whole life to rest, but I only have a short moment to hold my son in my arms and watch him drift off to sleep. I realize now why nursing was so painful for so many months. It made me stronger, prouder for not giving up. And though this time last year I said I would not allow my child to sleep in the bed with me, I would not trade those mornings when I a gentle kiss on the cheek and the sound of "mama" was my wake up call.

I have no regrets. There is nothing I would change. Every moment you have given me has been better than the last. Tomorrow is creeping up on me like a thief threatening to steal my baby and turn him into a toddler. Year, I won't let you bring the tears tomorrow. I only have room for fun and happiness. I can't let you have the day, because you just took 365 of them, curled them in your hand and hurled them at me with speed only a mother knows. No, tomorrow is a day of celebration because I know it only gets faster. I don't want to blink, I think I shall keep my eyes wide open on you year. Your greed can't be trusted.

Thursday, February 5, 2009


I just realized what makes babies so cute. It's their wonderful self-esteem. I have never seen one try to hold in his stomach when you walk into the room or one try to hide her thigh cellulite from the other babies. They are the happiest when they are naked and they don't care who sees them.

So maybe if we all act this way our world will be more beautiful. Uh, second thought, let's leave out the happy naked thing. Oprah naked - 'nuf said.

Monday, February 2, 2009

IT SNOWED!!!! now when is spring coming

Today was a snow day. I woke up to a cold, wet, rainy day. Not just a gentle rain, but one of those where you can't even use an umbrella because the rain hits you anyway. I just wrote the day off to a gloomy stay-inside kind of day.

Then it all changed. I put Peanut down for a nap and hopped in the shower. After about 30 minutes of intense beautification, I peaked outside to see not just snow, but a downpour of snow. I was so excited.

This is really J. Hogan's first real snow. In the end, we had about 1/4 of inch on the ground and it melted within minutes, but for about 2 hours it snowed - like is snows in Colorado - continuous - big flakes. It was wonderful.

J. Hogan woke up and just sat in his room for about 20 minutes staring out the window. When I got up there I explained the crazy phenomenon to him and to my delight he belted out a hardy "ow". That's J. Hoganese for snow.

I bundled him up and we went to play.

Then I came inside to hear Punxsutawney Phil said we have six more weeks of this garbage and that just deflated my happiness.

Oh sweet springtime, please don't wait. I long for your sunshine and warm days.