Where did you go? Just this time last year I was checking into the hospital in the middle of labor. That does not seem twelve months ago, maybe one month, but definitely not twelve. I end this day, my final day with a child under the age of one, with such a roller coaster of emotion. I embrace every moment - the good times and the bad. I now look back and understand the importance of sleepless nights. I have my whole life to rest, but I only have a short moment to hold my son in my arms and watch him drift off to sleep. I realize now why nursing was so painful for so many months. It made me stronger, prouder for not giving up. And though this time last year I said I would not allow my child to sleep in the bed with me, I would not trade those mornings when I a gentle kiss on the cheek and the sound of "mama" was my wake up call.
I have no regrets. There is nothing I would change. Every moment you have given me has been better than the last. Tomorrow is creeping up on me like a thief threatening to steal my baby and turn him into a toddler. Year, I won't let you bring the tears tomorrow. I only have room for fun and happiness. I can't let you have the day, because you just took 365 of them, curled them in your hand and hurled them at me with speed only a mother knows. No, tomorrow is a day of celebration because I know it only gets faster. I don't want to blink, I think I shall keep my eyes wide open on you year. Your greed can't be trusted.