Just a Little Off the Sides

J. Hogan had his first haircut.

I'll give you a moment to stop laughing.

Yes, I know he is the baldest 18 month old ever, but his curls in the back had grown into a mullet and there is one thing my child will never have besides Kool-Aid, and that is a mullet.

So we headed to a little place called Tiki Cuts for Kids and "got his do done." I was shocked at his cooperation. Grant it, he is the most even-keeled toddler known to man, but lately he has been testing the waters. But he was perfect and they even shaved his little neck. Apparently you should start getting him used to it now so that someday his neck doesn't look like a chia pet when he develops a fear of vibrating knives approaching his head. I actually don't see that being a problem though since his dad can't grow a small moustache and I only have to shave my legs once a month.

All bragging aside, here is the final result.

And trust me, he knows he is stylin'. He is sassy and not afraid to show it. Next thing you know he will be wanting Kool Aid.

I Need to Find a Teeny Tiny AA

I have learned so much lately. Don't worry about jumping up to grab a pen and paper. It really is just a bunch of crazy stuff that will probably not enhance your life at all. Well, maybe if you ever find yourself in a plague of locust or a knife fight.

The other night I learned toothpaste and saliva will take blood stains out of clothing. I know what you are thinking - did I actually cut myself while brushing my teeth? Well, no. I was getting ready to put clean sheets on our bed when J. Hogan ran in and thought the sheets were pillows and did a triple lindy into them only to split his upper lip open and lose enough blood that caused me to worry vampires would be knocking on my door.

I will give you a moment to pull yourself together.

Our tragedy ended rather quickly. He is a tough little guy. And when the smoke cleared, or rather when the screaming ended, he was left with a fat upper lip and blood stained clothes. I then began screaming since I realized that my brand new J. Crew tank that I just cut the tags off of, was covered in blood. So I composed myself and did what any red-blooded girl would do and went straight to the Internet. And that is how I learned that saliva and toothpaste would remove blood stains. And yes sports fans, it works... really it works. Technique is not important and therefore I will spare you the gory details.

While on Google I remembered that I also needed to find out how to get rid of a couple of elusive gnats that had setup residency in my home. I am a clean fanatic and I cannot tolerate any unidentified flying objects in my home. To save you time, there many ways to get rid of them that does not involve harmful chemicals - from sucking them into the vacuum cleaner (what!?!?) to trapping them with rotten fruit (gag). I chose a method that seemed to be fairly humane and strangely similar to how Chris and I met - trap them with wine.

The instructions were as follows -
1. Poor approximately 1/2 cup of wine (preferably red) into a bowl.
2. Cover bowl tightly with plastic wrap.
3. Using a fork, poke holes in plastic wrap.
4. Leave on counter overnight.
5. Dispose of wine and gnats that have lost their life to consumption.

Unlike the spit-toothpaste blood removal of 2009, this did not work and I am fairly upset over the loss of wine. I actually watched a gnat enter the bowl, land and fly out.

Apparently instead of building a trap, I just built them an all-inclusive relaxing vacation spot. I am thinking of setting up a little mariachi band for them tonight. If you can't kill them, at least be a good hostess.

Who Knew

Yesterday was a BIG day in our home. It was J. Hogan's first day of school, or rather Mom's Day Out. Yes, I know that about a year ago, I posted an entry about J. Hogan's first day of school, but this REALLY was his first day of school. And here is how I know - I woke up really early and packed his lunch, I packed his backpack, I put him in the car, I drove him to our church, I walked him inside, I put his things in his cubby hole (adorned with the cutest name tag), I kissed him goodbye, and I left... for 4 1/2 hours... him there... with his teacher... alone. Sure there were other kids, but he's my baby. (sob, sob, sob)

The fact of the matter is, he did great. He hardly knew I was gone. He played on the playground, he made friends, he ate his lunch and he took a nap. I could not believe it when I walked in to pick him up and HE WAS THE ONLY ONE ASLEEP! I'm not bitter, I mean I love the 20 minute naps he will take for me at home.

I don't know if I should be jealous or suspicious.

One Guilt Riden Blog

Well, school starts soon so I guess it is time to get back to blogging. Actually, I don't know what those two have in common, but it just made me feel like less of a slacker. I had not thought too much about blogging until my good friend Ginger sent me a guilt ridden email from her igloo in Alaska that made me realize it's been a while - try a few months - okay like six. So this one is really for you Ginger and I promise the next one will not be delayed.

This summer has been a bundle full of fun and activities. We have been on the go since May and what fun we had. Unfortunately it has not been documented on this blog, but has in the golfer's tan J. Hogan has developed. So here's the recap - we swam, we traveled, we went to zoos, we went to waterparks, we rode ducks, we had sleepovers, we went to Kindermusik, we did art projects, we played, we went to a million birthday parties, oh and we said goodbye to good friends.

Ginger, we really miss you guys. Chisel your way out of the frozen tundra and come back for a visit soon!

One Is the Loneliest Number... Whatever!!!

Hi, my name is Dana and I have a one year old. Sometimes I do feel like there should be some kind of support group for moms when their babies make the leap into the world of one.

All in all, we had an amazing first birthday experience. We started Thursday on his actual birthday. We woke up early and I made J. Hogan pancakes for the first time (no syrup of course... I am still "me" after all). He LOVED them. G'Mo and Pa came down about lunch time and we headed to the aquarium. Pa stayed at the house and worked on monkeys for the party. It sure is nice having an artist in the family especially at birthday time.

As usual J. Hogan had a big time at the aquarium. It's funny how he notices different things with each visit. This time his favorite were the Hyacinth Macaws. We watched them for probably 20 minutes which translates into adult time as four hours. We had a wonderful time. Once we were back in the car, he collapsed into a much awaited nap and we headed home.

That evening we had our own little private family celebration complete with spaghetti. That boy loves some spaghetti.

His birthday party was on Sunday afternoon at our church's Christian Life Center (aka - gym). Illness unfortunately kept several of our friends from joining in the festivities and we missed them no doubt. But we celebrated and had a "monkey" good time. There were monkeys on the door (Thanks Pa!), monkeys on the tables, monkeys on the cake, monkey treat bags, monkey crafts, oh and a monkey soundtrack for your "monkey dancing" enjoyment. Oh I forgot to tell you he had a monkey party - just in case you were wondering.

With a one year old, you never know how he will react when 60 of his closest friends gather around and sing to him while mommy brings him a cake with flames coming out of the top. Well, I will tell you how he reacts, with huge smiles, moments of laughter and clapped as everyone sang. We had been practicing blowing out candles and he gave it his best effort. Now I am not big on giving my child sugar, but can I just say, "THE BOY LOVED HIM SOME CAKE!!!" He dove right in and ate with determination and stamina that only a fellow sugar addict could be proud of.

He got gifts, and more gifts, and then a few more gifts. I am always overwhelmed at the thought of how many people love my child. That is a blessing to a mom. I appreciate everyone who was there (and those who were feeling under the weather - I know you were there in spirit). I am so glad all of you joined us to celebrate J. Hogan's first birthday party. It was a blast.

Next year, hmmmm... oh what will I think of next. Maybe a beach theme, on location, in the Caribbean, where it is warm and sunny. Yes, I do believe that will be what he wants.

So now I am off to scarf down a piece of leftover birthday cake. And yes, I will be eating it in much the same manner as my little peanut ate his. One - what a great age, what a great kid.

Dear Year...

Dear Year,

Where did you go? Just this time last year I was checking into the hospital in the middle of labor. That does not seem twelve months ago, maybe one month, but definitely not twelve. I end this day, my final day with a child under the age of one, with such a roller coaster of emotion. I embrace every moment - the good times and the bad. I now look back and understand the importance of sleepless nights. I have my whole life to rest, but I only have a short moment to hold my son in my arms and watch him drift off to sleep. I realize now why nursing was so painful for so many months. It made me stronger, prouder for not giving up. And though this time last year I said I would not allow my child to sleep in the bed with me, I would not trade those mornings when I a gentle kiss on the cheek and the sound of "mama" was my wake up call.

I have no regrets. There is nothing I would change. Every moment you have given me has been better than the last. Tomorrow is creeping up on me like a thief threatening to steal my baby and turn him into a toddler. Year, I won't let you bring the tears tomorrow. I only have room for fun and happiness. I can't let you have the day, because you just took 365 of them, curled them in your hand and hurled them at me with speed only a mother knows. No, tomorrow is a day of celebration because I know it only gets faster. I don't want to blink, I think I shall keep my eyes wide open on you year. Your greed can't be trusted.

Revelation

I just realized what makes babies so cute. It's their wonderful self-esteem. I have never seen one try to hold in his stomach when you walk into the room or one try to hide her thigh cellulite from the other babies. They are the happiest when they are naked and they don't care who sees them.

So maybe if we all act this way our world will be more beautiful. Uh, second thought, let's leave out the happy naked thing. Oprah naked - 'nuf said.